What does Anger mean to you?

Is it something to be avoided, embraced, or feared? Do you use it, or does it use you? Do you think it has any value?

Many avoid anger, it scares them, or they have seen the effects of those who have acted out of anger. Many of our beliefs around anger are formed while we are young, both on a personal basis (things we had done) and what we observed, especially from our parents and those closest to us.

Anger has its benefits……and its costs.

Anger itself is not a bad emotion or state of being if it is used wisely. Anger can, and should, be listened too. It is telling us that something is not right, a boundary is being crossed, there is a potential threat to our self / another or that we are not being listened too.

Anger is a guide, a signpost, a light, telling you to take notice or action. Learn to listen to it, observe and then question it. What’s triggering this feeling, why am I getting angry, is there a real reason or am I acting of irritation/stress (there are many questions that could be asked). And then thank that feeling! It has been trying to tell you something after all.

All too often we ACT out of anger, we don’t listen, we just do, and then pick up the pieces after, perhaps apologise and try to move on. Anger is fuel that is thrown on the fire, it can keep us warm and nourished but too much and the fire can rage out of control. It is akin to having a bunch of logs to put in the fire, but an unknown number have been soaked in petrol first. One or two may be safe but then suddenly the next one goes on and whoosh flames and heat burst out – hence the losing your head in the heat of battle! The heat of the anger overloads parts of your brain, blinds you, and you cease to be consciously aware of your actions. The “I didn’t mean to do it, but I was just so angry” moment.

Anger (properly tended) can help get things done, make changes you may not have even considered, get you to the finish line in a marathon or an assault course. Untended, we lash out, we say things that should not have been said, we forget restraint and just do.

 Learn to LISTEN and OBSERVE, then THINK. What is my anger trying to tell me?

Then, you can act more appropriately, and you will “keep” your head.